Christmas songs, by the time the big day rolls around, we’re sick of them. Mariah Carey makes an estimated $2.5 million in annual royalties, and it’s the only time we hear Michael Bublé crooning over the radio. But Christmas doesn’t always bring warmth and cheer. This year, I’ll be exploring five festive songs that break tradition.
Slow Club – “Christmas, Thanks for Nothing”
Slow Club released their anti-Christmas Christmas album in 2009. The title track is a lo-fi, jangly indie duet that feels like a tense post-breakup car ride. It’s festive in melody but not in spirit, highlighting the feeling of resentment for being made to look back on the year and wonder “would I change a single thing”. It also confronts the forced interactions that many face; “The family truce just got destroyed // the insincere tone of the host”. The use of contrasting sonics, the bright guitars vs bleak lyrics, challenges holiday clichés without making the listener feel too depressed. The best of both worlds, you could say.
Sufjan Stevens – “Christmas in The Room”
This track is my favourite on this list because of its simplistic, intimate feel. Rejecting the traditional concept of presents, lights, and the general materialistic sceptical, “No Christmas tree, no great parade”. Instead, it focuses on human connection; “I’ll come to you, I’ll sing to you”. I think I appreciate it because it resembles how I’ve been spending my festive season for the past few years.
Girl in Red – “Two Queens in a King-Sized Bed”
Featured on her 2020 debut album World in Red, “Two Queens in a King Size Bed” is a cosy, sentimental queer tune that expands Christmas music beyond heteronormative storytelling. The lyric writing isn’t the smoothest. “Let me wrap you in with my skin, with my skin” calls images of the 1992 film Society. But that might be my horror-warped mind. Overall, it’s a positive to have representation for all, especially during the festive period. There’s a lot of room for more, and I think the industry will see more progressive Christmas anthems standing shoulder to shoulder with the classics in the coming years.
Phoebe Bridgers – “Christmas Song”
Between 2013 and 2023, Bridgers covered a Christmas song every year, eventually using them as fundraisers for various charities. She released her cover of McCarthy Trenching’s “Christmas Song” in 2018 as a duet with Jackson Browne. With its whispery, deeply melancholic take on the holiday season, it leans into the emotional exhaustion rather than cheer; “The sadness comes crashing like a brick through the window. // you don’t have to be alone to be lonesome.” Her annual tradition of releasing sad holiday covers has helped to redefine “Christmas Music” for her indie audiences, although she has been on a festive hiatus since 2023.
The Long Blondes – “Christmas is Cancelled”
Ending on a badass note, The Long Blondes take no prisoners with “Christmas is Cancelled”. Unfortunately, some people take advantage of others’ festive cheer to rear their ugly heads where they aren’t wanted. A rock breakup song that’s sharp, dramatic, and unromantic. “So, she’s turned you out, has she?” is a ‘look what the cat dragged in’ moment. Her refusal to let her guard down, “I find it hard to sympathise”, is a badass lesson many of us could learn from.
Merry Christmas
So, when you’re all Wham!’ed out, or simply want to be in your feelings as the evening of the 25th rolls around, play the above to mix it up a bit. I’ll leave you with some honourable mentions.
Tom Waits – Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
Blink-182 – I Won’t Be Home for Christmas
The Killers – Don’t Shoot Me Santa
Mumford & Sons – Winter Winds
The Kinks – Father Christmas